Essentially, it goes a bit like this. Edgeplayers is at the top, because they are uber and really pushing the boundaries of kink and fetishism with all their fluid involving, dangerous play, right? Then BDSM, specifically DS, then SM, because the DS is "like, soooo much more powerful, right, cos it's *psychological*. For SM all you really need is a stick. Then the kinksters, who occupy the place in between BDSM and fetishism. Then Fetish people, with their curious obsessions and utter devotion to the sexualisation of objects.
And then, right down at the bottom on most of these scales is roleplay and CP.*
I'll be honest for a second. Even though I, myself, indulge in rp & cp a fair bit, I still occasionally see it all through the veil of the sneer scale. It's just so unfashionable. And I'm not entirely sure why, because to my knowledge, the majority of kinkster first fantasies originate in roleplay and CP. Possibly it's generational; not that many of the U35's do it because it's seen as something the O35's crowd have possession of? Or it's not extreme or exciting enough? Funnily enough though, a lot of the ultraviolence crowd I know despise canes for being too painful, too ritualised; ironic, given that this essentially means that the cp submissives can take a fair bit more than purported ultraviolent people at times. Maybe it's to do with the younger doms not having had masses of time to aquaint themselves with using a cane properly (I think this is a rubbish theory, but I'm putting it out there anyway)? Anyway, for whatever reason, CP is most certainly not "in" with the younger crowd.
Roleplay is also apparently the acceptable exception to the concept of YKIOK (Your Kink Is OK). I mean, I have genuinely lost count of the amount of times people have said to me "Roleplay? No, I don't do that, because essentially you're just pretending to be submissive, right? Not really being it." or "Hahahahahaha! You've got to be kidding right?" or "Nah, it's a bit weird, right? I mean, all that dressing up and old men wanting you in white knickers and the fact that sex doesn't even seem to come into it? Seriously, what's up with that?"
So, social stigma = 1, roleplay = 0
But, I'll admit, some cp'ers can lend themselves to such mockery. Some of the cp'ers I have known in the past have been *so serious* about the whole thing. And lets face it, when you are essentially whacking someone on the bottom for sexy time kicks, being uber can occasionally seem like the only way to gain credibility instead of being laughable.
What it actually gains is mockery, and rightly so. But, dear BDSM'ers; you've got your own twats. I mean, seriously. You really have. They are fucking unbearable and nauseatingly arrogant. So why are the roleplaying ones so much worse?
In bluntness, I'm occasionally uncomfortable with all of my friends, on both sides of the divide. The tutting about the recklessness and uncouthness of blood play etc, versus the mockery of the "hanky spanky" and general seriousness. But the thing is, they're all wrong. Blood play people are probably *the* most meticulous kinksters I have ever met on the scene. When I do a scene involving blood, the preparation and specific hygiene concerns are phenomenal. No recklessness there; just an immensely profound moment between two people. And that goes for most edgeplay. Equally, cp'ers can be fabulously silly, the gentlemen making happy fools of themselves, the ladies getting tipsy and giggly. And, holy crap, they play *hard* and punishments are real punishments. No pulled punches there, so to speak. Believe me; they aren't anywhere near as fluffy as you think. The stereotypes don't hold true, they have been proven not to hold true time and time again, and yet we all still persist in retaining the prejudices.
Why? I don't know. I really don't and it's starting to frustrate me. Play is getting more fluid, prejudice and MKIBTYK(My Kink Is Better Than Your Kink) is being stamped out; why does this divide persist?
Answers on a postcard please! I'm curious to hear people's opinions on this one.
*Ok, maybe not *right* at the bottom... That's obviously the vanillas. Which is a blogpost for some other time.
